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during intercourse or use of an inexpensive, over-the-counter water-soluble lubricant. A 40-year-old man's softer erections don't prevent him from reaching orgasm. Says New York City urologist E. Douglas Whitehead, co-director of the fast and furious," says Dr. Herant Katchadourian, professor of human biology at Stanford University. "It ignites easily and fizzles out like fireworks." A man in his 20s achieves orgasm within two to five minutes after intercourse begins; his wife may take 20 minutes or more to reach her peak of excitement. "While she's still warming up, it may be all over for him," says marriage, family and child counselor Bernice Itkin of San Francisco. Association for Male Dysfunction, "If you rate erections on a scale of zero to ten, an erection of six or seven will be satisfactory for some men and their partners." Indeed, experts say the changes themselves can actually enhance the relationship and make for better sex -- if the couple discovers ways to capitalize on them. Here's how to have the best sex after 35: Reset the pace. "Sex in the young is